Day 4 – £15 a week

Breakfast:

1 bowl of porridge made with a little milk and water
1/2 banana
1 mandarin
1/2 pear
4 prunes
1 egg on toast – who was hungover?

Lunch:

Vegetable soup
Pasta from the other night with added carrot and sweetcorn
6 prunes
1 slice of bread

Dinner:

Bruschetta with goat’s cheese and tomatoes
Roasted potatoes, parsnips and swede

I was delirious with hunger again when I arrived home hence the reason dinner was so big. A huge carb fest with very little protein or any semblance of being balanced but it tasted good.

A friend of a friend who I really like came into rehearsals today went to lunch with my team. I felt so left out that I think I regressed to the aged of 5 with a pouty, titty lip and all. It felt that when they came back they’d been discussing ideas about our piece and making social arrangements which I only learnt of when they were discussing them in more detail. Where’s my mum so I can run and say ‘I can’t play with them’ but this time it’s not a case of they won’t let me. I can’t afford to.

I work during my lunch break because I eat to function and I take no joy what so ever in what I eat. It’s sad.

I’m finding it difficult to cope with work also – I’m unbelievably busy right now and information passes to and from me at an alarming speed. The diet isn’t to blame for me not coping but it’s not helping. I don’t feel fuelled enough to burn the midnight oil and rise at the crack of dawn to finish work (well stop blogging and get working I hear you cry!). If I can eat my way well through a day I can cope with anything, maybe not physically but mentally.

Usually I look forward to my meal breaks in a day because I know I’m going to enjoy the food and also the company. I miss my breakfasts with Marcus and my lunches with the cast. So I sit alone, looking up crap, writing a blog because I don’t take the time to just eat and enjoy. Granted this cannot always happen but of late I’ve been making a concentrated effort to stop and take a breath when a break comes along. I’m more motivated to work solidly and effectively in shorter sharper bursts if I’m fuelled and I’ve got something to look forward to.  To enjoy food, chat and discuss things other than work are bliss.

If anything this experiment will encourage me to enjoy food more and not take it for granted. I will savour every mouthful of food that I have chosen to cook and create and I will be thankful. It’s also made me seek out Glasgow food banks and I’m currently looking at how I can donate my time and food to these charities and help. I want to get a better understanding of how they work and what they mean to the people who use them.

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